What An AsHo

 

STATS:  Overachiever with some sort of citrus accent. When not playing with his space needle, he enjoys reminding people that he is in fact a physician. 

SUBJECT: Hello

Hi there! Cute profile... I lurve mexican food! Living in NM, there is the variant "new mexican" food here -basically lots of green chillis and cheese involved.

My name's S., and I work in Albuquerque as a teaching attending physician in hospital medicine. I grew up in England, and have proper limey accent, and did all my schooling there, before coming to the US about 8 years ago. I was very interested in space and life and the interaction between the two so I worked as researcher at NASA in Houston for 2 years on projects ranging from developing a human mars base to CPR on the moon and mars. I liked the US so much and secretly wanted to become an astronaut (aka "AsHo" or "astronaut hopeful"!) I stayed and did an internal medicine residency in Portland, Oregon. Quite a change of field from surgery, but always good to have new challenges!

You sound very charming and beautiful. How long have you been in Alabama and do you like it there?

Wish you well in your online adventure and I would love to talk more.
Take care
S.

WINK OR STINK:  As charming as he doesn't sound, I only date surgeons. Adios, you STINKY AsHo! 

Four Score and a Douche Canoe Ago...

 

STATS:  He enjoys taking his shirt off during self-portrait time. When not taking pictures of himself, he enjoys listening to old Billy Ray Cyrus tapes and counting his chickens before they hatch.

SUBJECT: Score

no kids and not religious. score!!!! and you're attractive. bonus!!!
 

WINK OR STINK: I appreciate that, like me, he worships the devil. And he's honest because I am pretty damn attractive. I was totally going to reply to this guy until I found out he was from Calera! The Calera Clap is nothing to mess around with, people! STINK!

He Who Stands in Middle of Road, Not Very Smart

STATS:  When not standing in the middle of traffic, he looks for serious relationships with "smart" girls.

SUBJECT:  Hello

Hello there,

My name is R .I liked your profile.
I am 34 years old and never married before.I live in Birmingham and do my PhD here.
Would you please let me know what do you think about me?

Regards,
R.

WINK OR STINK: Well, R...let me tell you what I think about you. I think you are absolutely the perfect guy for me. I like you because you do your PhD here and I do my LOL on Facebook. I love you. Now go play in the middle of the street...STINK!

Alice in Wonderland

STATS:  When not making lists, he enjoys trying to be funnier than me. He's the most interesting guy in Cahaba Heights!

SUBJECT:  No, it's not Facebook, it's the rabbit hole.

Love, love your eyes and hair!! oh, and this beautiful freckles! ;) But reading your profile really caught my attention ... men who have cats SHOULD scare you! LOL! A man should never OWN a cat ... we can only get away with "allowing" one to stick around, outside, to keep critters away LOL! Love your sense of humor :P I have a kinda dry, sarcastic humor that is mostly quiet, but zings in out of the blue ... Are you a fan or a hater of the movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"?? Timing is everything. Laughing is more!

Tell me, if you were to paint a picture of your life in 5 or 10 years from now, what would you want it to look like?? Describe it to me ???

I'll share a few things about me ...

A friend for life is what I want to end up with ... Why? Because no matter how intense the chemistry might be at first (although I certainly believe chemistry & romance is a must - after all, it's what separates the "us" from being "just friends"), it will change, go through growing pains, and test whether the "we" might stay together. I want that woman who I can trust with my life, and for her to trust me the same. If I can be respected, she will be loved.

Until then, I am A-OK being single. I learned a few years ago that I don't "need" a relationship to be whole, but am open to allowing one to develop, one where we are better together than apart. If it doesn't, then I'll still be living life, trying to make some mark, and having fun :)

Let me list a few things that are "me". Soulful rock music, soulful music of any kind, nostalgia, getting my life all sideways and messed up - just so I could learn what is really important in this world, as well as learning what I am made of. I'm fairly proud of that, but wouldn't want to do it all over again! LOL!

Halloween, Christmas, love roller coasters, motorcycles, served my country in the Navy and now I serve our veterans, love to get out, go see a band, even dance here and there - want to pick back up on the ballroom lessons I started a few years ago - hitting the gym most everyday, want to hike alot more this fall, great friends, adventures, helping others, and just enjoying this life!

Now add in a love of traveling to discover new places(preferably on my bike), love of the outdoors, kinda guy who would rather restore an old car w/ character than buy a new one, a desire to stay fit, I like tattoos ( The ones that are works of art ... something soulful about the good ones ... I'm considering one, but we will see),continuing my education so I can better serve others, cabins in the mountains, the beach!, my faith (I am a christian, but not "that kind" that cause people to run fast and far! Deep discussion if you are interested LOL! I'm not a judger. Period.), and lazy Sunday afternoons grilling ... sushi, ribs, fresh veggies, mexica n, laughing, and cuddling up on the sofa just "being" ... yup, that's me LOL!

Hope to hear from you soon! What is your name?

Wink or Stink: I like the new car scent so this dude gets a STINK! And I've decided that guys with cats aren't all bad so shame on him for hating guys with cats!

A Touch of Douche

STATS:  When not playing Dungeons and Dragons on the weekends, he does everything perfect including holding up brick walls and tilting to the side for professional shots.

SUBJECT:  Frightened by Fantasy?

I love all animals.
I take my self as seriously as I need to, but I have no illusions about my place in the universe. Only the confidence that I have good stories to tell, and the talent to tell them properly. Novels, screenplays, plays, and more. I used to write comedy for a living. Commercials too, but don't hate me for it.

I like your smile. I like your sarcastic delivery. I like the fact that you are tall, at 5'8". I like the fact that you like wine. I'm something of an expert.

And, my religious views could be termed as more spiritual. It's not a common viewpoint, I will say that. But, I have given it a great deal of thought.

So, I'm funny and smart. I'm thoughtful and I can cook Mexican, Italian, Seafood, some Chinese, plus may of my own recipes. What more could you want from a sarcastic and funny man, working hard to better himself by being focused on accomplishing a graduate degree?

Come one. Take a chance that a 41 year old might not look, act, or think like any 41 year old you might know. Write me back!

Thanks for reading.

M.

WINK OR STINK: I dig his uncommon viewpoint about what...I'm not really sure. I think this guy is a big goober...only because I'm something of an expert in goober picking! I think he probably picks his nose, too. I'm going to sarcastically deliver this guy a big plate of STINK!

Puss in a Suit

STATS: He's a big puss.

SUBJECT: Okay, I gotta admit your profile makes me smile.

Okay I gotta admit your profile makes me smile...some of the things you say are off the wall, and exactly how I think and act. I am inclined to disagree about guys who have cats. While I no longer have them, I didn't sit around stroking them with my pinkie-ring adorned hand, plotting to take over the world. They are sorta like my buddies - I could go days without seeing them, then be all "I love you man!"
I realize that I don't exactly fit your faith parameters, but if you're willing to table that issue, I will likewise withhold judgement on your stated desire for genocide (really though, couldn't you just eradicate the pictures of people in cars, rather than the people themselves?)
I'd like to hear from you!

WINK OR STINK:  He doesn't worship the devil. So definitely a STINK!

Oil of Olay

STATS: When not reading The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, he enjoys cannibalism.

SUBJECT: Your Smile

Hi Pretty

Nice reading your profile, I love your smile, tell me whats the secret of your beauty, I have interest in you and i will love to know more about you, lets start off by been good friends, friends are like the clothes we wear..... Without them we feel naked, I am Christopher but you can call me Chris for short, I am caring, romantic, Loving and above all God fearing. write me chris(CENSORED for his protection)a t g m a i l d o t c o m e hope you can figure it out and write me Enjoy the rest of your day and will be Happy to read from you soon

WINK OR STINK: I'm really on the fence with this one. I like his use of the word naked. His self portrait is among the best I've seen. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to write a damn email so STINK!

The Eagle Has Landed

STATS: 53 years old, enjoys watching reruns of Teletubbies and posing with his hands on his hips.

SUBJECT: Wowsie

Wowsie! Love your headline...everybody says they are funny but I can tell you're for for real Gee, do I have to be too old for you? I sorta don't want to be... Please, just give me some kind of sign...(maybe it was the golden eagle that just flew by). 

....S. (sitting beside a remote lake in MN on vacation)

WINK OR STINK:  My friend Frances said it best -- Please note that he is not just by any average lake in the land of 10,000 lakes. Oh no. He is sitting by a REMOTE lake. He is probably ice fishing. By ice fishing, I mean watching scrambled porn in his motel room. STINK EYE!